31. The Reunion Episode

At the end of May, I decided to take Little One on an East Coast adventure.

Okay, it wasn't really an adventure per se. It was the combination of two family events - one weekend in North Carolina, followed by another weekend in New York. So I combined the two into one long trip, split by a road trip from the south to the north, including my mom and Little One.

On the whole, this was a good thing. First, I got to see my granddad, on his 90th birthday. And he got to see me, and my daughter. And he was utterly in love with her, and she adored him. Seeing my daughter with my grandfather, who hadn't exactly been able to be a solid fixture during my childhood, immediately granted me the right to feel sentimental.

And that set the tone for the rest of the trip. On the way from North Carolina to New York, we stopped in Washington, D.C. Now, that's a place that I grew up within a few hours of, but had not visited more than two or three times in my life. So, this would be my first post-election, adult visit.

We did D.C. during a mammoth tourism day - first to the National Zoo to see the pandas, then over to the White House, another kind of zoo entirely. We sat across Pennsylvania Avenue, watching an Italian dignitary visit the president. As I sat there, watching Little One dance to no music in her new pink panda t-shirt, I heard the rotors before I saw them: it was Marine One, and it was bringing the president to the White House from Air Force One and his trip to San Francisco. It flew right over us, and it was truly an awesome sight.

Part of me reveled in the prospect of calling D, a big Obama fan, and telling him what he had just missed because he had been such a dickhead husband. But not right then. However, this had become an unfortunate refrain in my head, a rut worn straight into my brain: Hey, D, look what you're missing because you're an asshole! It would take months before the rut started to dissipate.

Right then, we started walking again, heading down the east side of the White House, along Executive Avenue, where rows of primroses, planted with military precision, lined the walls of the Treasury. Ahead of me was the Washington Monument. To my right, the White House lawn. Off to my left, the Capitol. Part of me just wanted to open up and shout, "This is SO COOL!!!" I didn't, but I really, really wanted to. And I knew, in that moment, that the reason I was having so much fun was beacuse it was my trip. If D had been there, something would be wrong. His back would hurt, or he'd be in a bad mood, or he'd want to go in some other direction, or he'd be mad at me for some inane reason.

At that moment, I realized I was a tourist from my old life, and with D nowhere to be found, I could actually enjoy it.

And then I checked my work email, as I did on my Blackberry fairly regularly. (My superstitious work philosophy: if I check it several times a day, then no one will need me. If I never check it, or check out completely, there will be some horrible calamity for which I am responsible and which only I can resolve and my vacation will therefore be blown. So I check.)

The email had just come in to my work account in the last hour. And you'll never guess who it was from. Actually, if you've read this entire blog from entry #1, you'll know exactly who it was from.

Penelope, read the email from Mr. Anonymous, I hope you're well. I was wondering if you might have some time to talk, about a matter which would benefit us both.

Here I was, standing on a street corner two blocks away from the White House, about to descend into the bowels of the DC subway system, and enjoying every single moment - and NOW he wants to talk. Of COURSE it would be NOW when I've actually just - almost - maybe - started to feel like I can escape.

I knew I had my out-of-office message on, so he'd know that I was out through the week. This was a Tuesday, and I wouldn't be back till the following Monday. Now what? I thought.

I looked at the message again, looked at my mom, looked at Little One, and pushed "delete mail." I took a deep breath, told my mom "Nothing" when she asked what was wrong, and got on to the escalator into the subway.

But I knew there was going to be more when I got home.

[Sidebar. I would like to wish everyone who has been tuning in to my blog a safe, happy, and healthy holiday season. I will be back with more chapters to this never-ending saga soon.]